Ninjalistics company news

Ninjalistics is all about giving. Conveying an unmistakable message to your competitors -- presenting a final resolution a trouble with organizers, do-gooders, or investigative officials -- delivering a strong signal, a dramatic inflection point in a delicate negotiation, and occasionally an air embolism.

But Ninjalistics is also about giving back to the community. These stories, now posted each Monday, show our commitment to public outreach and favorable media relations.

Week 031 in review - heroes, health, swine flu
Week 031 (May 25-29, 2009)
Saturday, 30 May 2009 00:00

Grasshopper, when you can pluck the Solidalliance Ninja 2G shuriken-shaped 2GB flash drive from my USB port, then will you truly be a corporate ninja. Anyway, you'll truly be someone willing to spend US$100+ on a 2GB flash drive. The Ninjalistics IT department has already approved these shuriken thumb drives for office use, but that may be because they're looking forward to throwing them at each other.

This past week (May 25-29, 2009), Ninjalistics, your top-quality provider of corporate assassination and espionage services, presented content both solemn and healthful:

  • Monday: In observance of the US Memorial Day holiday this past Monday, our Ninja News story honors Unsung heroes who start our wars -- the anonymous covert operatives hired by worthy companies and financial institutions to provoke profitable altercations. Our historical timeline covers highlights from the Whiskey Rebellion through the Copperhead Riots to the Bonus Army; the many recent instances are still covered by nondisclosure agreements.
  • Wednesday: In our weekly webcomic, the Etiquette Ninjas calmed a worried correspondent concerned about swine flu. Why worry, when your chance of dying from the flu is a mere fraction of your chance of being killed by ninjas?
  • Free Form Friday: Our latest free Ninjagraphic mini-poster is the Ninja Hygiene Poster. A follow-on to our popular Ninja Safety Poster, this colorful (well, mostly red) legal-size infographic offers helpful counsel to the corporate ninja concerned about the hazards of splashing bodily fluids.
    (You can view this form, and all our forms, at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.)
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