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Friday, 05 June 2009 00:00 |
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 It's Free Form Friday, so we present a newly revised version of our Ninjalistics Victory Over Clients certificate (.PDF link). Superimposed over a photo of a Mother Goose Parade, this festive award's text reads, "In recognition of your triumph over annoying, irrational, and sometimes clinically insane clients. Truly, your corporate ninjutsu is superior."
 Victory Over Clients certificate
If you enjoy this refashioned certificate, check some of our other handy Ninjalistics certificates you may have missed, such as these .PDFs: Cloud Weak Minds, a much-sought False Appreciation Award, and Digital Sleep Gas. We add a new (or revised) form or certificate each Friday, so check back often -- or subscribe to our handy RSS feed. You can view this form, and all our forms, online at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com. 
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Friday, 22 May 2009 00:00 |
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 It's Free Form Friday, so we present the official Ninjalistics "Employee of the Month award certificate" (.PDF link). The worker who overcomes all obstacles to achieve a goal -- even counting teammates as obstacles -- deserves this public acknowledgment that teammates have noticed and recognized this behavior, and are planning an appropriate reward.
For successfully sucking down the latest management directives, misdirectives, lack of directives, fibs, fiddlings, and flakeouts; for sucking up to all appropriate entities in ways not unusually distasteful; and for not obviously sucking in any respect important to superiors—
For attacking, with specified and appropriate ferocity, all designated goals, as well as anyone or anything in the way of said goals, including those who might have considered themselves teammates—
Let this honor serve to publicize the accomplishments of one who has attracted attention, provoked opinion, and excited strong feelings; and let this publicity inspire others—perhaps those who consider themselves teammates—to consider, develop, and deliver an appropriate reward to — [name] Employee of the Month award certificateWe add a new form or certificate each Friday, so check back often -- or subscribe to our handy RSS feed. You can view this form, and all our forms, online at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.
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Friday, 10 April 2009 00:00 |
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 It's Free Form Friday, so we present another Ninjalistics Ninjagraphics mini-poster, the "Junior Apprentice Associate Ninja certificate" (.PDF link). Award this colorful (well, mostly red) certificate to your interns and new hires -- the ones you trust to use deadly force but not necessarily to fill out their weekly hours. The certificate lists the newbie's qualifications: "Lurking, spying; covert photocopying; stealth coffeemaking; blind obedience; minor assassinations; custodial work; dying on command."
Junior Apprentice Associate Ninja certificate We add a new form or certificate each Friday, so check back often -- or subscribe to our handy RSS feed. You can view this form, and all our forms, online at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.
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Friday, 06 February 2009 00:00 |
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On this Free Form Friday, we present another of our mini-posters, "Absence makes the work go faster" (.PDF link). This highflown text piece, designed to be affixed to the door of a recently vacated office, commemorates a sense of new and precious freedom. You can be sure plenty of Ninjalistics frontline operatives are printing out this one while their execs are in retreat from NinjCo. The text: "Where is the maker of makework, the adder of meetings? Who shall now build walls, fling chaff, sow weeds, force detours? That gate-guard gargoyle who sulked to open the way—where is it now? Does no one sit on all approvals, sit for days with ever-spreading butt? Gone like smallpox. The hallways clear and calm! The game plan, unreworked! The e-mail threads untrolled! Before us lie clear views, untrammeled roads, air rain-fresh and free of rancor. We breathe deep; we test our bonds. In this noiseless and heart-loosened space, until the management descends again, now let us bring our thoughts to single-pointedness, and set to work." 
Absence makes the work go faster (mini-poster) We add a new form or certificate each Friday, so check back often -- or subscribe to our handy RSS feed. You can view this form, and all our forms, online at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.
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Friday, 16 January 2009 00:00 |
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Yet another Free Form Friday brings a helpful Ninjalistics "Ninja Health & Safety Poster" (.PDF link). Post this graphic reminder sheet in your company breakroom to discourage shuriken misuse, distracting vendettas, and improper disposal of bodies.  Ninja Health & Safety Poster We add a new form or certificate each Friday, so check back often -- or subscribe to our handy RSS feed. You can view this form, and all our forms, online at the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.
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Friday, 05 December 2008 00:00 |
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December 5th is the Day of the Ninja! Now survivors of this fun annual event can commemorate their participation with this handsome FREE certificate. The text: "[Name] has, through stealth and cunning, successfully taken part in this year's Day of the Ninja by virtue of (a) leaving small presents for others in surprising places; (b) intentional sneaking; (c) wearing appropriate costume, mask, or paraphernalia; (d) participating in or attending a martial arts demonstration; and/or (e) demonstrating, in diverse and sundry ways, both the silent menace and the inherent coolness of the ninja ideal. Witnessed this day of [blank] by [Name], Unseen Master, Rank [blank], Order of the Pragmatic Chrysanthemum." 
Day of the Ninja Participation Certificate.pdf To print this pleasantly blue-tinted sheet, use an inkjet printer. Remember to check with Ninjalistics each Friday for a new form or certificate, or subscribe to our RSS feed. View this document and our other forms on the free document-sharing site Scribd.com.
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Free downloads 