Once again this November, Ninjalistics is helping a few lucky clients celebrate the true meaning of the American Thanksgiving holiday by granting them near-death experiences.

In the annual ritual, known as Operation Appreciation Stimulation, ninja operatives descend at random on unsuspecting clients who have used the company's services in the past calendar year. The operatives forcibly relocate the clients to undisclosed locations and present them with seemingly fatal threats. By removing the threats at the last possible instant and restoring the clients to safety, the operatives induce rapturous and seasonally appropriate gratitude.

"It's all about giving back to the customer," said Sue Hin Kim of the public relations agency Hill Knowlton, speaking for Ninjalistics. "The company wants to demonstrate that once you've hired ninjas, the relationship is ongoing and continues to yield unexpected returns."

"My holiday abduction was memorable," says corporate attorney Janet Bastich. While Bastich was picking up her young son from daycare, unnamed Ninjalistics ninjas seized mother and child and transported them to a remote, vacant warehouse. The operatives strapped Bastich to an operating table, she says, "and showed me various implements." They also presented the fate of her son as an inventive mystery.

"When they untied me and brought Jimmy in unharmed, I felt a tremendous rush," Bastich recalls. "I'd never been so happy to see him. I remember when plaintiffs won damages from my clients on some trumped-up consumer safety complaint, I occasionally saw them display that same exultation. But I had never understood it myself, until those [operatives] decided to [stimulate our appreciation]. My son's life is so much more precious to me now, since we survived that [celebratory ritual]."

Sometimes clients need time to appreciate these touching life lessons. In the aftermath of her liberation, Bastich, like a few other rare abductees, mistakenly tried to take legal action against Ninjalistics and its operatives. But she, like the others, quickly came to understand the inappropriateness of her reaction and dropped all charges.

The great majority of abductees still recall their lesson in powerful terms. "When I emerged after two weeks buried alive in that concrete spider hole, I felt reborn, magnificent," said corporate executive Arthur Vyktimm. "I knew the profound privilege merely to breathe fresh air, to feel warm sunshine on my face, to gaze up to the star-rich firmament and feel, as would a child, the unbounded grandeur of the Universe. After that, eating turkey with my family is just gravy, no pun intended. Thanks, Ninjalistics!"

Hin Kim observed that Ninjalistics operatives undertake the annual operation on their own time and at their own initiative, pro-bono. "Throughout the year, the ninjas note clients who need reminders to respect and appreciate all living things -- including, for example, ninjas. During the holidays, the ninjas remember, and they act.

"For our clients, it's a powerful lesson, taught the way only a ninja can teach."