Combining the ancient arts of ninjutsu with modern ISO-9000 compliance, Ninjalistics Inc. helps enterprise clients solve problems, remove obstacles, and stay competitive.

Ninjalistics, a leading provider in the hotly competitive covert tactical realignment operations industry, works with multinational Fortune 500 corporations worldwide, including six of the Fortune 10. Whether your company needs to dispose of whistleblowers, intimidate journalists, defeat unions, or circumvent unwelcome regulation, you can rely on highly trained Ninjalistics operatives to perform with style and finality.

Though nominally founded in the recent past by Swedish cowherd and ninja Bjorn Lundstrom (with several partners who are now departed), Ninjalistics descends from a venerable Eastern tradition of excellence espoused by 16th-Century assassin Hunzo "The Night Slider" Yamazaki. The Slider's spirit lives on today in our commitment to the award-winning Holistic Quality Optimization (HoQuOP) program, rigorous adherence to Sarbanes-Oxley financial guidelines, and industry-leading ISO-9000 processes. "It's all about process!" Our matchless record of good corporate citizenship means clients can rest assured: Your adversaries are dispatched in darkness and silence, with all proper paperwork filed afterward.

Tired of heavy-boot infiltrations and ham-fisted killings? Contact your local sales representative to learn more about Ninjalistics and our top-quality corporate espionage services. You'll find out why real ninjas mean business!

About Ninjalistics.com

Launched in October 2008, the Ninjalistics website reunites several writers who worked together on the popular satirical tabletop paper-and-dice roleplaying game PARANOIA.

Greg Ingber conceived Ninjalistics in February 2008 while working as an audio engineer in Sweet Briar, Virginia. Ingber, who runs the humor site Joey Headset, brainstormed the new site with Austin, Texas game designer Allen Varney. Varney, who designed the current edition of PARANOIA, had previously enlisted Ingber to contribute to several of its supplements. The two have now enlisted several others from the principal group of PARANOIA writers, the "Traitor Recycling Studio," to contribute to Ninjalistics.

Press inquiries to Greg Ingber: gaingber (at) sbc (dot) edu

Business matters, content pitches, and boring stuff to Allen Varney: allenvarney (at) gmail (dot) com

Or use our contact page.